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How to Stop Divorce - Make Everything about Both of You
from: Alex FirWhether you consider yourself together or 'two'- gether, you
will both find a wonderfully comforting yet exciting familiarity
with each other. Familiarity never truly spawns into contempt,
as the saying goes. Relationships that exist without creativity
and satisfaction are the kinds that spawn contempt. Doing things
together with your spouse doesn't mean that you become dependent
on each other.
Dependence is absolutely the worst thing for your relationship
and will ultimately lead to an unhealthy co-dependency. Complete
independence is not altogether good for a marriage either. If
you are so focused on your own independence, you can never be a
true couple. Interdependence is what almost all successful
couples have been able to achieve and maintain. Interdependence
is simply a reciprocal relation between interdependent
individuals. It is possible to achieve such a balance in a
relationship and it is the best way to have a respectful and
successful partnership with your spouse.
Start to think about everything you do as an activity or
opportunity for the both of you. If you have to go out of town
on a business trip, take your spouse with you. While you're away
or even while you're at home together, take turns reading the
newspaper aloud in bed. Make sure you read the funnies to each
other and you must use appropriate voices for different
characters!
Take entire days together to go out and explore new things. Buy
a book that lists all of the attractions in yours and
surrounding areas. Visit each place that neither one of you has
been to before. Go on treasure hunts to places like flea
markets, auctions, antique shops, second-hand stores, garage
sales, craft sales and church rummage sales. These are great
places to pick up gifts for your spouse that you save for a
later date.
While most people know about 'his and hers' items like bathrobes
and towels, there are a number of other items that can be
enjoyed together as 'couples' items. Try getting matching
motorcycles along with matching T-shirts. Have matching his and
hers overnight bags, coffee mugs, bicycles, cell phones, cars,
holiday ornaments, tennis rackets, rocking chairs and even
matching carved pumpkins on Halloween.
Go shopping together and work on finding something for him and
something for her. Go to a bookstore and select a book that you
know your spouse will like and have him or her do the same for
you. Go to a music store and select a CD you know that your
spouse will like and again, have him or her do the same for you.
Find other ways to apply this same concept to other specialty
stores.
At the beginning of each month, sit down together as a couple
and review your calendars. Make all of your plans that you will
do together before working in all of your other appointments and
commitments into your schedule. Your relationship commitments
should always come first and be your top priority. Couples who
keep their relationship first in their lives have the most
enviable relationships.
About the author:
If a marriage cannot be saved, it's time to consider a divorce.
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